Logic Versus Love
by CryingForTheMoon
Summary: Spock leaves to help repopulate the Vulcan species, but how will he and Uhura handle the separation? Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

_Sorry that I'm writing something new rather than working on Sara's Return, but I had the craziest inspiration for this possible, and I desperately had to write it. So, here's the story behind the story—Today was Fun Day at my school, and the absolute weirdest thing happened. I and my friends were by the lame sponge throw, and we were chasing each other with sponges rather than throwing them at our coach. Some people were playing with a soccer ball, and the whole thing was fairly entertaining. So, a friend who probably would like to remain unnamed, I'll just call him J for now, was chasing me around. I, being totally crazy, run past the soccer players. Of course, I was hit in the face with the ball, and J "accidentally" tackled me. Luckily, I remained conscious, but sort of lost my senses for a moment, like, got kind of confused, because I totally wasn't expecting to be tackled, and suddenly became aware of "Hey There Deliah" playing over the intercom, and being a total nerd, pictured Spock on some planet with that song stuck in his head, thinking about Uhura. BAM! This story came into being. But it gets funnier. I notice I can't see anything, and start yelling, "I've gone blind! I've gone blind!" Then, an 8__th__ grade guy I'll call T tells me to open my eyes… whoops. Funny and stupid of me, huh? Now… ON WITH THE STORY!!!! (Oh, and I don't own Star Trek.)_

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"So, you're leaving me so you can repopulate your species," Uhura said to Spock, trying not to get mad.

"No, what I'm saying is that, logically, I have to help my species survive, and I still care about you. I am most certainly not leaving you."

Uhura pursed her lips. "Fine," She replied. "You've made your choice." And she walked out of the transporter room without another word. Spock was beamed down to the planet that the Vulcans had chosen to live on, Darwin IV.

The two acted like they didn't care that they were apart, but in truth, missed each other more than anyone knew.

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_Sorry that this chapter is so short, and that I didn't post when I said I would on my profile, but I couldn't figure out what was going to happen, even though I sort of already knew, until I realized that I had the wrong idea, and I couldn't drag everything out the way I originally planned. Also, this chapter is un-beta'd, but I would like the rest to be _

_beta'd, so if anyone would like to help me with that, please let me know. Thanks! Also, please review if you can. It makes me feel more appreciated, and a happy writer is a good thing. :D . Oh, I promise I'll try to make the next chapter longer. I know how frustrating short chapters are._


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't own Star Trek, etc. Thank you to my wonderful beta reader, and also thank you to Cole, who helped a bit with making Spock sound slightly more like a guy, rather than how girls assume guys think._

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Uhura sat in her usual spot on the bridge, searching for any conversations, any noise at all in the silent region of space. She didn't really care about the task at hand, but it was a distraction from the pain of missing him. She didn't want to think about Spock at all, and was even doing her best not to think the words Spock, Vulcan, or anything else that had anything to do with him.

Finally bored of searching for sound on any frequency, when there quite obviously was none, Uhura closed her eyes and focused on translating all the conversation on the bridge into every language she knew, not including Vulcan. Falling into this pattern was simple, and because it took most of the conscience part of her mind, she didn't even notice when Kirk laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," Kirk said, "anyone home?" He smiled slightly, as if he thought he was being funny.

"Huh?" Uhura looked up, mildly surprised at the fact that she was actually being acknowledged.

"I've been trying to get your attention for at least ten minutes," Kirk stated, exaggerating, "You okay? You seem a bit… down. I'm worried about you."

"Don't be." Uhura's reply was sharp, almost cold. "I'm fine," she continued. "In fact, I'm so completely fine that not only can you stop worrying about me, you can go back to your 'duties as captain' which… damn it." She said, seeing Kirk's confused expression. "I guess babbling and going off on irrelevant verbal tangents isn't going to fool you, is it? To be totally honest, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say next, I was just randomly saying whatever came to mind. Kind of stupid, huh?" Uhura was babbling again, and it puzzled her slightly. She never used to talk like this. Yeah, she would start talking about something important and go on about it for ages, but never this pointless chatter that had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

"Lieutenant, you do realize that you haven't eaten in nine hours, and haven't slept in fourteen? You've been at the bridge the whole time, listening for what's not there. I'm ordering you to go eat something and get some sleep," Kirk said calmly.

"Fine," Uhura replied, removing her earpiece and walking out of the bridge. She went straight to the kitchen, ate a few bites of bites of some sort of Federation-issue bread that tasted like absolutely nothing that any human being should ever eat. Of course, nothing had tasted very good to her lately, the main reason she hadn't eaten. After that, she went to her quarters and lay down on her scratchy, uncomfortable Federation-issue sheets. She briefly wondered why all the Federation- issue stuff seemed to suck, but quickly forgot the idea and cried herself to sleep. Her dreams were disturbing.

_She was walking on a reddish, dusty planet, knowing she was looking for something or someone, and having no idea exactly what or who it was. She was yelling words she could vaguely hear, but had no idea what they meant, although she was certain she had both heard and understood them at one time or another._

"_Gol-tor! Wilat du?_ [Rough translation- Help! Where are you?]

_She stumbled over a few rocks, while she kept repeating the words and screaming someone's name. She knew the name was important, and she thought that if she could stop walking and yelling, she could work out who it was, and what the strange words meant, but she couldn't stop walking, and the words kept coming out of her mouth, and she didn't know how to make any of it stop…_

Uhura woke up screaming. "Spock!" She cried out, and repeated the name over and over again until her words subsided into sobs.

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Under Darwin IVs two full moons, Spock lay awake while his Vulcan wife, T'Ana, slept. Spock hated himself for marrying her, when he didn't know her, didn't care about her, especially when her touch could never compare to Uhura's.

After a while of this, Spock completely gave up on sleep ever finding him. He slipped on the heavy Vulcan clothing, missing the Federation uniforms. As he ducked out the front door, he walked along the dusty landscape of Darwin IV, the light from the moons lighting the planet.

Spock took slight comfort in the fact that he was the only one out, which meant that there was no way he would run into anyone. He was alone with his thoughts, for once. He sighed as an old Earth song ran through his head. He veiled memories of hearing it on some radio station one of his students had been listening to. He had admired the calming notes slightly, because most songs written during that particular era hadn't been relaxing.

As he walked across the barren environment, he wondered why he had bothered with this whole thing. There were other Vulcans who could do this just as well as he could, and yet here he was, on Darwin IV, instead of on the Enterprise, with Uhura… Spock sighed as he thought of her name, even whispered it to remember the beautiful sound of it. Spock missed her so much, but he had no doubt that she hated him for what he had done. For the millionth time he asked himself why he had ever left her for the plain, unfeeling, seemingly uncaring creature that was T'Ana.

Spock sighed, knowing that he had to return to his house soon. He didn't think of it as home, and he hoped he never would.

As Spock walked back into the bedroom, he noticed that T'Ana was sitting in bed, fully awake. "Sorry," he said, although it was a lie.

"It's fine." T'Ana's response was flat, and lacking any trace of emotion. She could have been a machine. Spock missed Uhura, whose words had always been filled with very Human emotions. T'Ana's voice made him feel like an intruder into someone else's life, although when he wasn't on the Enterprise, he almost always felt like that, at least, since the destruction of Vulcan.

Spock quickly pushed those thoughts away as he and his… wife, uncomfortable as the idea was, walked downstairs to cook breakfast, although food was the last thing he wanted. What he really wanted to do was sit and meditate, although right now, that wasn't really acceptable. Or maybe it wasn't that he actually wanted to meditate, just that he was used to Uhura coming into his room while he mulled things over. He mentally chided himself when he realized he was thinking about her…again.

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_Okay, I hope this chapter's long enough to make up for the sorry excuse of the last chapter. Also, the words in Uhura's dream were supposedly Vulcan, I'm not entirely certain if they actually are, because the site I got them from may not have been correct. Sorry._


	3. Chapter 3

_I don't own Star Trek in any way or form, thank you to my wonderful beta reader, also, thank you to Mandy for not getting mad at me when I griped about writer's block (which, incidentally, is why it took so long for me to post this.)_

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3 weeks later, dinner was still an ordeal for Spock, mainly because he knew what was expected. He and T'Ana would talk about their day, and then they would clean the kitchen together. That part was okay. It was what came after that was bad. They would shower, together or separately depending on what T'Ana decided, mostly because Spock didn't give a care, although he was careful never to show this, and then they would go to bed, where they would sometimes try to carry out their duty (at least, that was how Spock thought of it to avoid thinking about what he was really doing), sometimes not. And then would come the sleepless hours.

Spock had gotten partially accustomed to being unable to sleep with all the thoughts in his head, and had turned his midnight walk into somewhat of a routine. He had began to bring his meditation candles with him, and wear his far more comfortable Starfleet uniform under his Vulcan clothes, and meditate on a large flat rock about a quarter of a mile from his house. He still did not think of the place as home.

The rock was where Spock sat now, his thoughts meaningless as he sat with his eyes closed. The night breeze ruffled his black bowl haircut, but he did not stir. This was the closest he got to sleep, aside from an hour or so of restless slumber, filled with dreams about Uhura, with far more of her skin showing than her uniform exposed.

Spock was mildly annoyed that memories of his dreams had snuck into his thoughts when he was trying to relax. He also found it mildly amusing that sounds, like the owls, and feelings, such as the wind's cool caress didn't distract him, but mere thoughts did.

Finally opening his eyes, Spock noticed that the sun would rise soon. He had to get to his house before T'Ana woke and noticed his absence.

As it happened, T'Ana had already awaked and began cooking breakfast when Spock arrived at the house.

"Couldn't sleep?" T'Ana's question threw him off guard slightly.

"No, I couldn't." Spock's reply was far more flat and Vulcan-sounding than his voice had ever been.

"Are you sure you're not sick?" T'Ana asked, piling some vegetables onto Spock's plate.

"Yes, I am certain," Spock replied as T'Ana sat down. The two began eating. Spock only ate a few bites, hiding the rest in his napkin, which he tucked into his pocket. He would throw it away as soon as T'Ana left.

"I'm going to the medical center today," T'Ana said, seemingly as a way to start a conversation.

"Are you sick?" Spock asked, trying to sound worried. He slipped more food into his napkin as T'Ana glanced at the clock.

"No, I think maybe I might be..." She trailed of, not finishing her sentence. Spock knew what she meant.

"Oh." Spock's response sounded awkward. "Um, well, that's very, that's, er… is that's great. It is, isn't it?"

T'Ana laughed. "Yes, it is good." Spock was surprised at T'Ana's laugh. She had never so much as smiled in his presence, except maybe once or twice, and those times her expression had held no true happiness, just an imitation.

T'Ana took another fleeting glance at the clock, kissed Spock on the cheek and told him she had to leave, and slipped out the door.

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Uhura sat in the ship's cafeteria as she ate her breakfast. She wondered what Spock was doing before quickly discarding the thought. As she looked down, a teardrop fell into her cereal. She angrily wiped away the rest of them before anyone noticed. She was _not _going to let herself be all miserable and stuff. She was better and smarter than that.

"Hi." The heavily accented voice belonged to Chekov, who had just sat down at Uhura's table.

"Hello, Ensign," Uhura said, trying not to sigh too loudly. "What do you need?"

"I just vanted to see how you are. I'm vorried about you. Most of us are, Lieutenant." Chekov's pale face conveyed what he was saying so perfectly, he almost had no reason to voice his opinions, they were so plainly there.

Uhura sighed, setting down her spoon. "I'm fine, just… tired lately. There's no need to worry. Oh, and you can pass that on, by the way." She was too affected by how sweet it was of him to talk to her to be annoyed.

"Oh? You're not sleeping vell? My grandma use to have a special tea she made to help people sleep… it worked very vell." Chekov's eyes were dreamy, as if he was thinking of fond memories of his grandmother.

"That's nice, although I don't like sleep inducers. I won't even let Doctor McCoy give me tranqs like he keeps trying to do."

Chekov seemed to sense Uhura's frustration with him, awkwardly said goodbye, and left, which Uhura was thankful for. She hadn't been lying about being tired. She had had a rough night, same as the past three weeks. Her dreams were melancholy again, walking along the same planet, all the while screaming strange words. She whispered theme quietly to herself now.

_"Gol-Tor. Sanoi! Wilat du?! Tor fam dash-tor fan-weh. Sanoi." _ In her dream, she had no idea what the words meant, but when she awoke, she knew the translation immediately. It was Vulcan, and it meant "Help. Please! Where are you?! Do not hurt me anymore. Please." She thought the dreams might have to do with suppressing thoughts that had anything to do with Vulcan during the day, but the idea of Vulcan, or Vulcans, or Spock, or _anything_ hurt a lot.

So, she probably should have ignored the dreams, but they haunted her thoughts all day, and gave her so many headaches, and then she didn't want to fall asleep, for fear of the nightmares. All that on top of eating very little and working as much as she could was probably taking its toll on her, but she couldn't do anything that was painless aside from working, so by God, she was going to do it as well as possible.

Uhura finally gave up on appearing to eat her mushy cornflakes, and dumped the whole mess in the garbage. She began walking toward the bridge, but as she left, she felt a sharp pain in her neck and became unconscious. Her last thought was, _Felt like a needle, _and then surprise at something so obvious.

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_Once again, I'm pretty sure the strange language was Vulcan, but you know how untrustworthy the internet can be. _


	4. Chapter 4

As lunchtime rolled along, Spock sat in the living room, reading an old Earth book, although he was paying very little attention to the text on the pages, thinking mainly of when Uhura would read this particular story. He remembered it had been one of her many favorites. He had mostly given up on reading it, the story was most illogical, and he knew perfectly well he was only reading it for the memories of watching her turn the pages, captivated by the plot.

The sound of the front door opening made Spock come back to the present. He glanced up and saw T'Ana, holding several vegetables from the garden, and smiling. Her smile was completely real, which Spock noted as very un-Vulcan. _Something_ must be important if she was displaying that much emotion.

"Why are you happy?" Spock asked, curiosity getting the better of him. He had slipped the book into the shelf by his chair.

"I'll tell you during lunch." Was T'Ana's reply as she began to prepare the vegetables she had brought in.

Ten minutes later, they were both sitting down to some sort of chilled vegetable soup, and Spock was, as per usual, hiding ninety-five percent of his food in a napkin.

T'Ana set down her spoon. "I suppose you want to hear the good news," she began. "You know I went to the medical center today. Well, I was correct, and even better. I'm having twins." T'Ana finished, smiling still.

Spock was shell-shocked. _Twins_… the revelation was amazing, although his logical mind quickly calculated the good and bad. The pros were, for one, this two new live would contribute to the Vulcan race, also, his duty was completed. The cons on the other hand... it would be completely wrong to leave now, to leave ever. He could not return to the Enterprise, he would never be able to see Uhura, or his best friend, Kirk, or anyone, not even Bones the hypochondriac again. Strange how he never thought about how much he might miss Chekov, or Scotty, when they had never seemed a very big part of his life. But, yet, he desperately wanted to see anyone and everyone from the Enterprise, even Scotty's ugly little assistant, again, and he couldn't. How ironic it all was.

"You okay? You seem sort of out of it." T'Ana's voice pulled Spock back to the present, again.

"Yes, I... just sort of surprised. That was rather unexpected. Congratulations." Spock said.

"Thank you." T'Ana seemed nervous about something, like there might be more that she wasn't telling him.

That night, Spock walked around outside, not even meditating in his usual place, just walking around and not slowing, muttering about the stupid decision he had made to come here rather than staying on the Enterprise, the way he _should _have done. But no, he had left his home for this, to be taunted with what he simply couldn't have anymore.

Finally, morning came. He went back to the house and pretended to eat breakfast, and all through the day, he missed his true home, the Enterprise.

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Uhura woke up in sickbay, for once not remembering disturbing dreams, although she did remember being stabbed with something. So Bones had managed to drug her after all. Well, at least there had been no dreams with the artificial sleep.

"Oh, you're awake. Do you feel any better after some sleep? I was hoping you would." Bones's voice stirred Uhura from her vague thoughts.

"Yes, I am awake. Not sure if I feel better, though. I don't like artificial sleep." Uhura replied snappily.

"Well, I figured I wasn't going to get you to sleep any other way. And it's not going to help the _Enterprise_ if the Chief Translator is suffering from sleep deprivation. It's potentially dangerous." Bones's answer was gruff, and he was checking various medical devices as he spoke.

"What makes you think I need sleep? I am perfectly fine."

"Yeah, you are now. You weren't earlier. You had dark circles around your eyes, and you were irritable. You did need sleep. Why don't you tell me why you haven't been getting enough rest? Were you thinking about the hobgoblin or something? " Bones had stopped checking things, and was now looking curiously at Uhura.

She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to get out of this. "Dreams. Nightmares, really. They are extremely realistic, and they cloud my thoughts during the day, and it's easier to work without sleep than to try and work without remembering the dreams." Uhura slumped back down on the bed, annoyed by how weak she felt at her inability to keep her thoughts under control.

"Oh, I have something that should help with that. Geez, why didn't you tell me? I'm a doctor, not a mind-reader. Unfortunately, they won't stop the dreams completely, but it should make them a bit less real, therefore less frightening, alright?" Bones asked.

"Yeah, sure, I guess." Uhura seemed uncertain, which wasn't like her.

"Hang on," Bones said, looking through a cabinet. "Oh, here's the damn thing," he said, pulling out a bottle. "Take one an hour before you go to bed. It should help."

"Thanks." Uhura replied, and started to leave.

"Wait a second. One more thing. Stop worrying about Spock. Either he'll come back, or the pointy eared, green blooded, damn bastard doesn't deserve you. ." Bones said as he started inspecting things again. Maybe he was considering mutilating Spock with scalpels when and if he ever came back.

Uhura was surprised "Um, thanks." She left sickbay, and went back up to the bridge.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Spock sat at the table eating a salad for lunch. He didn't eat much, eight bites at most, but T'Ana was too busy talking about something that had happened to her sister to notice.

_How human…Why is she acting like that? _Spock didn't realize he had voiced his question until T'Ana answered it.

"Well, you are half human, and you seem to be more attracted to human culture, so I decided that it would be logical to act more human so that you would feel more comfortable with all of these new happenings. Was I correct?" T'Ana said, looking at Spock curiously.

"Not quite, it's slightly… disconcerting." Spock replied, looking around the room.

"Oh. Well, in that case, I will go to the garden to check on the vegetables. Have a good afternoon." T'Ana's voice was back to her usual emotionless tone.

"Wait a moment. May I ask you a question?" Spock said, as he remembered how awkward she had seemed lately.

"Of course you may." T'Ana replied, pausing by the door.

"What aren't you telling me?" Spock said, knowing that she couldn't lie. Vulcans never could. Even he had difficulties lying sometimes.

T'Ana didn't answer. Instead she walked out the door. Spock's suspicions were confirmed. If T'Ana had nothing to hide, she would have answered. Avoiding a question was the closest Vulcans could come to deceiving. There was something up, and Spock was determined to find out what it was.

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Uhura skipped lunch, and worked instead. She translated several conversations, none of which had anything to so with the Enterprise or its safety, which worried her slightly. Everything had been calm for a long time. One would expect something to happen soon.

Six hours later, Kirk had ordered her off the bridge, and to make sure she actually ate dinner, accompanied her to the cafeteria, remaining silent the whole time she pushed her chicken around her plate.

"You do realize that neither of us is going anywhere until you actually eat that." Kirk finally broke the silence.

Uhura looked up. "Well then, we're going to be here for a while." She said, pushing her plate away.

Kirk pushed it back to her. "Eat it, or I call Bones down here to take you to sickbay, knock you out, and put you on an IV; your choice." Kirk spoke calmly, but he wasn't lying.

Uhura glowered at him, and as she looked him straight in the eye, took a huge bite of chicken, making a face as she chewed and swallowed.

"See, not so bad. As soon as you eat the rest, we can get out of here."

Uhura quickly complied. She hadn't eaten enough lately, and food made her feel sick, but she wanted to leave and go back to her room. She noted that the room was still mainly empty. It usually started to fill up at twenty-hundred hours, and it was only eighteen-hundred hours now.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about him, but you've got to tell me what's wrong sooner or later, and I'd bet my status as captain that it's about Spock," Kirk said, obviously trying to be gentle, but failing epically.

"You're right. I don't want to talk about him. And I'm not going to. End of story." Uhura's reply was biting and angry.

"I can always have Bone's give you drugs. You need sleep. So, it's either telling me what you need, or its bedtime." Kirk wasn't budging on this.

Finally, Uhura answered. "I miss him. I'm mad that he had to choose logic or love and picked logic. I thought I was more important to him than that, and I wasn't. Now he's with a woman who has about as much love for him as you had for Nero. I want him back, but if whatever the heck her name is has his child, he'll never leave, because it would be wrong, and I just let him go, and I didn't think he'd actually leave, and I was stupid to let him leave me, and I would do anything to have him back, but there's nothing I can do, and want to hate him, but I can't. The only person I can hate for it is me." Uhura, who had begun talking with a strong voice, was crying.

Kirk awkwardly rubbed her back, and walked her to her room. Uhura asked him to leave, and after he did, she removed her make-up, and fell into bed still in her uniform.

Her dreams were what had become usual.

_She was walking on the red planet, screaming in Vulcan, until she encountered a house, which she entered. This part wasn't in her usual dreams, but she ignored that fact and walked around, until she went in a room, where Spock and a strange Vulcan woman were surrounded by babies and young children. They looked up, and the woman growled, and then all of the children and babies swarmed around her, laughing and knocking her over with their combined strength, and pulled at her hair, clawed at her eyes, anything they could to cause her pain, while Spock and the woman laughed and kissed. Uhura begged Spock to help her, but he didn't do anything till she spoke in Vulcan. "Gol-tor! Tor au ti'amah! Ish dash-tor!" _[Translation: Help! Make them let me go! That hurts!] "_Ri. Du qual ri yauluhk. _[Rough translation: No. You are not important.] _Uhura screamed until she couldn't scream anymore, but to no avail; Spock merely ignored her and continued kissing the strange Vulcan woman. _

Uhura woke up screaming, until she realized it was a dream, and then she cried till she fell asleep again, with no dreams at all, and she slept peacefully until the computer woke her up.

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_Ok, as per usual, I got the Vulcan from a website, I'm not certain it's correct, etc._


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